I’ve been living the last several weeks with this unexplainable level of stress. See, I am ulcer girl. Since I was first diagnosed with an ulcer at age eight, it’s been widely known that I handle my stress in my stomach. Few people are aware that I have problems, and even fewer people see things bother me.
Aside from being sick since whenever, forever ago, I have added to it by worrying, mostly about what I can expect next. See, after I got sick, I became unemployed, and then, this week, in a place far far from home, the transmission went out on my car (or is making a good effort to quit).
All these people that I regularly counsel about how “you’ll get over it”, “it’ll be fine”, “so, do something about it!” are nearly mocking me about how “I’ll get over it”, “it’ll be fine”, and, of course, “so, do something about it!”
Wednesday I had a job interview. I have sent almost 200 resumes over the past several weeks, but this place was the first to call. So, I went. They kept saying things like “oh, excellent”, “great”, “cool”. That might have giving me false impressions, but it was at least a self esteem boost. Knowing that we are going into a very long holiday weekend, and that the person who interviewed me commutes to another state on Fridays, I was pretty sure that I would have to endure through the middle of next week waiting for my “we’ll call you in a couple of days” call.
This morning, because my phone had died and I had apparently neglected to bring my wall charger, I had to go get a new one. After I plugged it in I discovered I had just barely missed a call, from THEM, saying “you are a finalist for the position (they are hiring three people) and since you are from out of town, we’d like to finish the process and send you for a drug test”.
PEOPLE! I WILL TOTALLY PASS A DRUG TEST! I’m not sure about the law anymore, but when I’ve worked for large companies in the past, the drug test comes after the “conditional offer of employment”. So, like I said earlier this week, this potential job means we might have to move.
I am feeling a large bit of melancholy about the decision. I have made (and maintained) some amazing friendships over the last several years. I am sad about leaving those relationships, knowing my history, that it’s hard to keep in touch from a distance. Luckily, technology is my friend, and my best effort will be made to keep those people close. Also, I will soon be inviting everyone I know and love to come and explore this new city with me.
So, if I do leave, I’ll miss you guys. Totally. And the move doesn’t mean I love you any less, it just means that it’s good for my family, my sanity, my life. And things that are good for me are good for you.