The EX. When people ask why we aren’t together anymore, it’s not a difficult story to tell. I don’t always tell it, because it’s not really anyone’s business. What I do, instead, is over the course of time, tell little stories about the relationship then and how it continues on today. It makes it clear, fast, and nothing else needs to be said.
I’ve never really shared much of that with you, here, but now I choose to share this. Approximately one year ago I agreed, after much debate, to let the little one live a school year with her dad. She is, after all, partially his. I say partially instead of half because he’s never made a real effort in participating in the raising and nurturing of her. Sure, we live in another state now, but we didn’t always. We lived within three miles of each other for 5 years. When he was having ‘his time’ with her, she spent most of that time with her aunt.
When I agreed last year to let her spend this year with her dad, he made sure that it was clear to her that she wasn’t staying any longer than this year. He made it clear (in my mind) that he thought it was going to be a burden to have her there; more expensive, more time, more work. What he didn’t realize is that I have done a really good job of raising that kid, and she’s an actual joy to have around. She is responsible, helpful, and funny. She’s kind, smart, and goofy.
What he didn’t realize was that he was getting as good as a live in babysitter when he got her. At first, I don’t think she minded. She did, after all, want to spend time with her baby sister who she adores. But then I think it got to be too much. She’d never complain; at least not to him. Really, it wouldn’t have done any good.
Well, this week I bought her return ticket to come home. She talked to him about the summer timeline and he said okay. There was a lot to figure into the mix. My roadtrip. They are moving. The new baby due later in the fall. Ah ha. The catch. Now, I think, after he has discovered what an asset she is to anyone‘s family, he wants to keep her. After all, she is the built in babysitter. She’s helpful, remember?
Yesterday apparently he was mad when he saw her itinerary for her one way ticket home. He’s mad that she didn’t “clarify” and ask him if it was okay if she left June 6. He said he wanted to ‘talk about it’ because now they have to work around her because THEY have “stuff” to do this summer. All I could tell her is that she is not responsible for the running of their household, and that she was a kid, MY KID, and she’s coming HOME.
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